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FACEMAKER
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[Facemaker Gallery]
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| GAME STATISTICS |
| A.K.A.: |
N/A |
| Release Date: |
 1983 |
| Publisher: |
Spinnaker |
| Developer: |
Spinnaker |
| Genre: |
Puzzle |
| # of Players: |
1 |
| ESRB Rating: |
N/A |
| Our Score: |
1.0 out of 10 |
| Our Reviews: |
Ape - Review below.
To submit one, click here! |
| Systems: |
Colecovision
Commodore 64 |
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1.0 out of 10
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| Alright, here’s the deal. Who wants to create a face in a video game? Alright, of the three of you that want to, who wants to play a game of ‘Simon’ with the face that you had just created? Nobody? Well drat, ‘cause that’s basically what Facemaker is. In Facemaker, you choose the head type, the eyes, the nose, the mouth, the ears, and the hair of your face that you’re making. When they’re all together, you press specific buttons on the Commodore 64 keyboard, like ‘W’ for wink, ‘F’ for frown, ‘C’ for cry, ‘E’ for ear wiggle, etc....sadly, yes, there is the ear wiggle tacked in there. This lets you know what you look for...Because once you hit enter, you’re thrust into an amazingly annoying game of ‘Simon’ with the face...But rather than remember colors, you have to remember what animated on the face you made, then type in the letters that represent the facial expressions in the order in which they appeared. It’s quite lame.
Since you’re picking from pre-selected facial features when creating your face, it doesn’t really feel like you’ve created anything, which kind of makes the game’s title a bit misleading. Then when you get to the lame-o game of Simon, which is supposed to be the fun part, you’re treated to a boring memory game with very irritating sound effects linked to each and every facial expression. Why Spinnaker thought that this was a good concept for a game is beyond me...But it’s probably the same reason why they’re not making games anymore. |
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Graphically, the game is plain and boring. Most of the facial parts look creepy and they’re all static...Meaning they don’t move. When an animation hits, the face stays where it is and the ‘animation’ is simply a different picture briefly taking the place of the thing that’s ‘moving.’ When you have this little going on in the game, and you’re unable to spend a few extra hours to make actual animations rather than brief picture changes, it’s just laziness. The audio, as I noted earlier, is terrible....Mainly because the only audio in the game are those annoying sound effects. I’d rather listen to 8-bit remixes of Michael Bolton music than hear more of those awful sound effects.
This game is terrible. You’re not really creating faces at all. The Simon-style gameplay is pointless and stupid....If I wanted to play a game of Simon, I’d buy the actual Simon game; it's portable and doesn’t contain sound effects that make me want to jam forks in my ears. The graphics are also painfully bland...I might as well jam that same fork into my eyes while I’m at it; I’ll be the Helen Keller of video game reviewers. In closing, I’ll list my thoughts in the order of which my facial expressions changed as I played the game. If you want to know what these letters mean, check the screenshot to the left for the key to what letter equals what expression. Quite simply, when playing Facemaker, my face did the following; F F F F F F F F C. - Ape |
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